Sing along with...

The Breast Cancer Song Book

Ever feel like this?

This is a collection of original songs, some set to popular tunes, written by the members of an E-mail listserv
for those of us who are living with breast cancer.
These songs represent the humor, fortitude,
and fighting spirit of the brave people on this wonderful list who believe in the healing power of laughter
and who are all committed to the honest telling of our experiences with the devil we know as breast cancer.

Special thanks to Maria Rose Brent
for starting this delightful thread!

We urge anyone living with breast cancer to join our e-mail list:
Breast Cancer Listserv

...and send your own BC song to Suzanne Bria
for informal publication on this webpage.

The Chemo Blues

I got the chemo blues,
The chemo blues are here
I got the chemo blues,
The chemo blues are here
That taxol and decadron
Sure make me feel queer.

I got the chemo blues
Right up to my bald head
I got the chemo blues
All way to my bald head
Had I known what was comin'
I'd a sped off on my moped.

I got the chemo blues,
Still two months to go,
I got the chemo blues,
Still two months to go,
When time ain't standin' still
Then it go way too slow.

I got the chemo blues,
And Love it don't feel right,
I got the chemo clues,
And Sweet Love
just don't feel right.
When my dear man hug me,
Got no desire to hold him tight.

I got the chemo blues,
Travelin' the tunnel
dark as coal
I got the chemo blues,
That long tunnel dark as coal,
I keep lookin' for the light,
All I see is more black hole.

I got the chemo blues,
So tired I can hardly stand,
I got the chemo blues,
Gettin' tired,
I can hardly stand.
And what might be the cause?
Why, nothin' but a
sick lymph gland.

I got the chemo blues,
Wait while the hot flash come,
I got the chemo blues,
Wait while that hot flash come.
And the chemo brain
It make me feel so dumb.

-Maria Rose Brent

under the table...

WHINING TIME
-dedicated to a friend before her MRM....

Well it's whining time again
You're gonna leave me
I can see that puckered pink look with my eyes
I can tell by the way you sag there darlin'
That it won't be long before it's whining time

Oh one day the doctors told me I had bc
And that you would have to go to save my li ii iifeee
So I burned my bra and bid my nipple farewell
Now it won't be long before it's whining time

Well it's whining time again
You're gonna leave me
I can see that puckered pink look with my eyes
I can tell by the way you hang there darlin'
That it won't be long before it's whining time

As I lay here on the gurney getting drowsy
And the people look like aliens from outer spa a ace
I reach up and give you one last tender stroking
Before I drift off to some sweetly dreaming place....

-Suzanne Bria

The Radiation Blues

I got those radiation blues
Made my booby turn so red.
Got them radiation blues now
Can't turn over in my own bed.
That ol' bra feels so sore,
Guess I'll just go naked instead. (... uhn.)

Got them post menopausal blues, now
Can't remember how to talk.
Got them no estrogen blues, aww,
And my libido took a walk.
If this goes on much longer,
My man'll sure go into shock.

-Julie Kelly

(Sing along to Elvis's
"Are You Lonesome Tonight?")

Are You Sexy Tonight?

Are you sexy tonight?
Does your boob hang just right?
Are you sorry you're showing
your scar?
Does your memory stray --
in that old chemo way
When you wonder where
you've left your parts?

Do the clothes in your closet
seem rather too bare
Do you look in the mirror
And see no one there?

Is your life filled with pain?

Will it come back again?
Tell me dear,
Are you sexy tonight?

-June de Jonge

Sung to the tune of Elvis's "Love Me Tender"
- & dedicated to my wonderful breast surgeon,
Dr. Laura Esserman ("The Singing Surgeon") at UCSF:

Cut Me Tender

Cut me tender, cut me deep
Never let it show
You can leave my
breast complete
And no one will ever know

Cut me tender cut me true
All my cancer kill
You have left my life complete
if not enough
for my bra to fill....

(Actually she did; just kidding!)

Suzanne's "Gemma Mae..."

And here's one for rads, sung to the tune of
"This Land is Your Land, This Land is My Land":

This Room is Your Room

This room is your room, this room is my room
On every evening, for six weeks calling
From the shining equipment, to the kind technicians
This room was made for you and me

Now as I lay there, just getting x-rayed
I saw before me some large machinery
And little red beams all dancing round me
This room was made for you and me

As days went forward, my boob was pinkening
My boob was itching, my boob was aching
You gave me Aquaphor, thought I was faking
This room was made for you and me

By the last dawning, when I was roasted
No bra could touch me, I sure was toasted
No cloth could brush me, I wanted freedom
From this f******* room I was finally able to flee!

-Suzanne Bria

Wow-- Some radiation!!

Tattooed Boob
(sung to the tune of "Jingle Bells")

Looking at my boob
With eight colorful tattoos
Makes me wonder why
I don't drink all the booze

My boob's so very red
And terribly blistered now
"It will soon heal," the doctor said
"So don't you have a cow."

Tattooed boob, tattooed boob
Tattooed black and red
Oh what colors you can turn
from radioactive med . . . !

-Susan, Queen of the Colorful Breasts

The Oscar Meyer (BC) Song

My illness has a first name
It's b-r-e-a-s-t
My illness has a second name
It's c-a-n-c-e-r

I am a sensual woman
With scars upon my chest
My spirit soars the same old way
And my brain is still the best

-Judy Fahey

The Down n' Dirty
BC Blues
(with wailin' blues harp,
& weepin' guitar)

Lord I got them BC Blues
Lord I got them BC Blues
That cancer man
be my new pimp
My soul be hurtin'
and my body limp

I got two dollars
to buy me some gin
Cause I can't stand
the shape I'm in
The man he sly,
the man he lie
The man make my daddy
above to cry

He try to own me lord lord
set me loose
Took a train to Chicago
to slip out that noose
I'm wailin' and howlin'
the blues of BC
But that devil be hungry
come lookin for me

He steal my money
he scare me too
He bring me candy
then beat me blue
He shave me he rape me
But he bring me nice friends
I think it's time
this bad verse ends.

We all gonna fight him
what we got to lose?
Just day job for night job
playin' the blues!!!

-Judi Tarsha Ritchey

OH, SUZANNE-A
(you all know the tune....)

-for Suzanne Mitchell
("PA Suz")

Well this chemo stuff
is really bad
it makes me feel like poop
first they slash then poison me
and I can't even eat my soup

Oh Suzanne-a
It's OK to cry for me
Cause I feel like crap
and my hair is gone
My pink scalp for all to see

But there is one thing
that makes me smile
you're probably
wondering what...
His name is Sam
and he's cute as pie
My Golden snuggle butt

Oh Suzanne-a
Go a-head and cry for me
Cause I feel like crap
and my hair is gone
My bare scalp for all to see

Now Sam doesn't care
if I'm fat or thin
He loves me just the same
So long as I give him
cookies and love
And play his woobie game

Oh Suzanne-a
It's fine to cry for me
Cause I feel like crap
and my hair is gone
My bald scalp for all to see

The days are long and
the nights are rough
While I suffer
through this strife
But I know I'm loved
and that others care
And I'm glad I have my life!

Oh Suzanne-a
It's cool to cry for me
Cause my hair is gone
so I hide my head
My scalp for none to see....

-Suzanne Bria

The Libby-Doo Song

To the tune of "I Left My Heart in San Francisco"

      I left my libby-doo....
      In my I.V. bag....
      High on a pole....
      It calls to me....

      To be where
little needles go....
      And pretty colors flow....
      The stench of chemicals....
      May fill the air....
      I don't care....

      My libby-doo waits there....
      In my I.V. bag....
      Above the bed....
      On which I lay....
      When I'm reunited....
      With you....
      Oh my Libby-doo.....
      You'll here me shout....
      "Yippee-ki-yi-yeah!!!!!"

-Roberta "Bert" Kiley

Woke Up This Mornin'
(sung to the tune of any AABC old timey blues tune)

Woke up this mornin with cancer in one boob,
Woke up this mornin with cancer in one boob,
Now the doc says, We can whittle
That lump right out o there.

Yes, doc says we can whittle, or cut the whole thang off,
Doc says we can whittle or cut the whole thang off,
HMO says, No problem,
A drive-through stays enough.

Doc says were gonna slash you, and then well burn you some,
Doc says were gonna slash you, and then well burn you some,
To go through radiation
You need good attitude.

Just take these little white pills, take two of them each day,
Take these here little white pills, take two pills every day,
And throw away your sweaters:
The heat has come to stay.

We better do some chemo, so bid adieu to hair,
Yes, well give you some chemo, so say farewell to hair,
Youre tired and sore and queasy
And comfort is nowhere.

Doc says the cancer might come back, or then again might not,
He says the cancer might come back, or then might not take,
Its one big rollin crap game
With just your life at stake.

-Jane Reid

What Kind of Lump is This?
(to be sung to the tune of
"What Kind of Fool Am I?")

What kind of lump is this?
That seems to stay and stay
Why can't I cast away
My bc replay
And live my life?

What sort of pain is this?
That only comes at night...
What cancer grows inside
My paranoid hide
Causing me such fright?

Why can't I laugh so much?
Just take some TUMS or such--
Why must I moan and bitch
And worry and twitch
Until Hubby screams, "ENOUGH!!"

Why can't I take a pill
And just learn how to chill
and maybe then I won't
give a fig
[BIG FINISH]
What kind of lump
this issssssssssssss!!!!!!!

-Suzanne Bria

Poke Me, Poke Me (sung to Hokey Pokey)

We put our left arms in, we take our left arms out
We put our right arms in, and we watch them draw our blood
We do the Pokeme pokeme while we watch our veins collapse
That's what BC's all about!!!

We put our left boob in, and the surgeon takes it off
We put our right boob in, and they take that one too
We do the pokeme pokeme, and have some reconstruction
That's what BC's all about!!!!

We stick our good arm out, and we take a big deep breath,
in goes the needle and we're even further from death
We do the pokeme pokeme, and we hope we won't get sick
That's what it's all about!!!

We go right home, and we jump into bed,
with a gallon of water right beside our head
We do the pokeme pokeme, and we hope we don't dry out
Cause that's what it's all about!!!

The second we feel better, we all go to our pc's
to find out all we can 'bout, this insidious disease
We do the pokeme pokeme, and try to put our minds at ease
Cause that's what it's all about!!!!

The intruders they are waiting, like sharks in bloody water
They think they're so intelligent, but we're a whole lot smarter
We do the pokeme pokeme, and we do our homework too
Cause that's what it's all about!!!!

So if you find yourself depressed, or a little bit blue
type out your fears and we'll all be there for you'
We do the pokeme pokeme, and we try for unison
Cause that's what it's all about!!!!

-first two verses by Jodi (BoneHeadsRUs)
with additional verses by Bonnie (BonPaul)!

...just tryin' to dig our way out!

Send your BC song to Suzanne!!

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