The following letter was printed (almost in its entirety) by the San Jose Mercury News the Saturday after I sent it in. It is probably a bit difficult to follow without reading the original commentary piece which provoked me to write. The original piece, which I wish I had saved, was written by someone who could not rationalize the mourning that was taking place for Kurt Cobain. The writer had obviously decided that Kurt Cobain was just another fast living, heavy drinking, cocaine sniffing, womanizing rock star. While he may have been any number of these things (who are we to judge?) , I believe this opinion was unjustified. I had never been a huge Nirvana fan at all, but the writer's lack of understanding for the situation and his utter contempt for the feelings and thoughts of the (mostly young) people so affected by Kurt's suicide drove me to distraction until I put it down in words (note the time of the email! I couldn't get to sleep until it was done!).

The April 12th Commentary piece by Howard Kleinberg is extremely short-sighted in not realizing the true meaning of the mourning that is taking place for Kurt Cobain of Nirvana. Increasingly in this often bleak world, young people don't have much to look forward to, as the April 12th front page article "U.S. kids face bleak future" illustrates. Teen depression is on the rise and teens don't have many role models to look up to, their age or otherwise. In the confusing years of adolescence and beyond as young people try to find their place in this sometimes nonsensical world, the most comforting thing to come upon is someone who speaks a language you can comprehend. To find someone who can put the raw emotion and pain of life into music and words is especially comforting. To this day, people revere the music of Tschaikowsky, an often depressed individual, whose suffering comes through so powerfully in his compositions. While Kurt Cobain may not be the same class of musician Tschaikowsky was, he touched the souls of thousands of people in a similar way. His fans recognized an expression of emotion that they could comprehend. By mourning his death, grunge-clad teens and also neatly dressed working professionals, like myself, are not paying tribute to his drug usage or placing his violent suicide on a pedestal of reverence. They are mourning the loss of a voice of a generation, a generation that got from his music the reassurance that they are not alone. Kurt Cobain was one of them and he spoke to them.

I do not believe that he, as Mr. Kleinberg writes, "lived excessively." He was a man already struggling with depression when faced with stardom and the heavy burden it brings. He did not enjoy performing to hordes of screaming fans who adored him to the point of wanting to tear his clothes off. He was not equipped to lead the public life that his music brought him into. His mourners are not idolizing any of his "wild sex, vulgarity, booze and drugs". And while his suicide was drug related, I believe it was more a result of his depression, which comes out so clearly in his music. He did not take drugs because he had the big bucks to go out and buy cocaine. He was like many people are today, depressed and desperate for a way out.

If anything, Kurt Cobain's suicide is a warning to others to not take the route he did, for it leaves behind only sadness and more depression. People are indeed, contrary to what Mr. Kleinberg writes, comprehending that "drugs are bad stuff". I heard someone on a radio call-in show state that she is entering drug rehab as a result of his death. A lesson is being learned from this tragedy.

Mr. Kleinberg may not find anything to mourn in Kurt Cobain's death, but that is probably because he found nothing to relate to in Kurt Cobain's life. I hope that he and others who feel the same way realize the impact that Kurt Cobain had on people when he was alive. He is not being idolized now because he killed himself. He earned the respect he is getting now from his ability to get through to people when he was alive. His death only heightens that respect because now, very suddenly, there is no longer someone alive to pay that respect to.

Lilly Tao
ltao@netcom.com

©1994 Lilly Tao