Gattaca -- A chilling version of a future-to-be (ooo, just in time for Halloweeeeen), when everything is based on genetics, yet no-one except the mysterious faceless state which doesn't really appear very much in the film seems to buy it. If you go expecting an action-packed sci-fi thriller, you'll be very disappointed. If you go expecting a drama about how the human spirit transcends science, delivered in a surprisingly un-technophobic way, you'll like it, even if it does go on a bit long, and overemphasizes bits and pieces of people. Didn't really need to see it the 500th time. Plus, who decided to cast Uma Thurman as the superwoman of the future? She ain't all that. *** 3/4/*****
A Life Less Ordinary -- Not nearly as bad as it could have been. Despite having not watched MTV in a while, I bet they've been pushing this one. A couple *really* funny scenes saved it, though maybe I just thought they were that funny 'cause I was a little tipsy. Unfortunately, the whole experience brought back bad memories of _Excess Baggage_, which was really bad, even though it had Christopher Walken who is always great in comedies because he's so funny without trying to be. I liked the angels. They were tough. The robot. Check it. Yarr. Drool. ** 1/2/*****
Kiss the Girls -- **+1/2/***** -- Might have been better with a reasonable supporting cast... and if we hadn't seen it 50 times already. Despite a good male & female lead (the female lead character, especially), everyone else hurt to watch, 'cept for a cameo later on. When it wasn't full of holes, the plot was tough not to predict ahead of time; the scene in which the baddie's identity is revealed may have been better had I not guessed who it was 10 minutes into the movie. Nevertheless, there are enough *great* scenes to make it worth burning two hours of my miserable life to watch... and, like I said, the leads are great. Matinee, if you're bored, or wait for video.
The Devil's Advocate -- ****+1/2/***** -- Maybe I only liked it this much because I was expecting something *really* awful. I've never really liked Pacino, and Keanu Reeves... 'nuff said. I'm happy that someone finally made a movie that wasn't based on an awful Grisham two-word-title book, and did it well... didn't even fall into the "Guess what! He's a *lawyer*, *AND* he's the devil!" trap. It has disquieting scenes, humorous scenes, tense scenes, sexy scenes, and courtroom drama scenes unparalleled in any movie I've seen (the x-examination of the teenager was just /too/ beautiful). Not gonna say too much else, since it'd spoil it for ya, so just go see it. And Charlize Theron (sp?) is way cute. Don't miss this one.
Boogie Nights -- Aside from being a bit too long in parts (okay, I get the damn point already), it was an oddly detached look at the rise and fall of the porn industry (not the pr0n industry, which came later). Alternatively strange, twisted, touching, funny, moving, and thought-provoking, BN succeeds at pretty much everything it tries to do. Despite the fact that it /could/ have been one hell of an offensive movie, not even some of the more risqu scenes seemed to do much shocking. Great acting jobs by everyone involved, even Markie Mark... who'd have thunk it? The firecracker scene ranks up there in the best-ever category. I should mention that more people should be named Dirk. ****/*****.
Mad City -- Pretentious parallels to 70s "Network" aside, the attitude of the two films is vastly different, even if they share the same case of sleazy two-faced executives, slick reporters, and naive pseudo-victims-of-society-who-are-mad-as-hell. Network goes surreal, where Mad City stays in the "it could happen" realm (well, as much "it could happen" as you'd expect from a black comedy that takes aim at the media). As such, it's no doubt intended as a biting social commentary that public opinion polls are what make society go. Not exactly a new idea, to be sure, but it's still well-executed, Travolta's nutcase being just nutty, naive, and, well, stupid enough to make the final act work. Hoffman does a good job when he isn't mumbling. The very last scene is nice, even if a little heavy handed -- but then, the entire movie wasn't exactly _subtle_. ***/*****
Starship Troopers -- Without further ado, here's the 10 things to be learned from this movie. Keep them in mind if you're ever fighting killer bugs. (1) Everyone in the future is very, very, _very_ attractive. (2) Asteroids moving slow enough to be dodged by a large spaceship will cross the galaxy in no time flat. (3) A small helmet will protect you from high-cal machine gun fire at close range. (4) Don't get cornered -- you'll run out of ammo. (5) Get cornered -- it's the only way your gun will be effective. (6) Military tactics 101 -- If you've got a gun and your opponent has no ranged weapons, walk towards it while firing. (7) Military tactics 201 -- Cluster all your spaceships in a random pattern, but very close together, so that when one goes down (in flames, in space) it's sure to hit at least one more. (8) Military tactics 301 -- Send in the ground troops against an enemy that's ferocious in hand-to-hand fighting. The spaceships in orbit are for raising the casualty count so more funding can be acquired, of course. (9) Everyone with Hispanic surnames is actually lily-white. (10) Two legs good, eight legs bad. That being said, ST was still an excellent movie for sappy training scenes, sappy romance scenes, and brutal, gory, ultraviolent action scenes. I haven't seen this much blood since "Dead Alive." As someone wiser than I pointed out, if you equate the main characters to the Archies (Rico=Archie, Carmen=Veronica, Dizzy=Betty, the pilot guy=Reggie, Doogie Howser=Jughead), the movie becomes much more surreal. Not recommended for people who don't like action movies, or people who are squeamish about seeing people being cut in half. On an enjoyment scale, ****/*****. On a this-will-be-a-classic-remembered-always scale, */*****. Read the book, it's good. (If you already have, pretend the movie's title is something else)
Bean -- As an adaptation from the little screen show Mr. Bean, it's alternately faithful and blasphemous. Rowan Atkinson (Bean, BlackAdder, the priest in 4 Weddings and a Funeral) is getting a rep as the British Jim Carrey for this, which hurts me deep inside, since Jim Carrey's sole talent is making funny faces and bouncing off of himself, whereas Atkinson is a comic genius. (This is not an opinion. It is fact. If you disagree, sit in the corner and write "I do not understand humor." 65,535 times on the chalkboard.) If you're already a fan of the TV show, you'll be disappointed, but there are a couple great scenes (the ride of DOOM). If you aren't, you're likely to enjoy yourself, even if your laugh is a guilty one. As I was disappointed, I can only give this guy **1/2/*****, but would still recommend it to those who've never seen the original Bean in action. While you're at it, rent Black Adder.
Fairy Tale (A True Story) -- It was odd going into the theater knowing that the two girls that the movie is about admitted they were lying later on (but... well, I'll leave the but there and you can figure it out). That said, if you've ever believed in faeries, you'll love this movie. If you skipped that part, you won't. Harvey Keitel was miscast as Houdini. I'll avoid saying any more, since this is one of those movies that you can't really review -- if /you/ think you'll like it, go see it. Otherwise, it's a skipper.
The Jackal --
Beauty & the Beast, Enchanted Christmas [direct to video] -- Not as charming or witty as the original, but that's to be expected. Unlike most Disney sequels, both theatrical and straight-to-video, however, EC wasn't twitchingly awful (as was Return of Jafar, the Rescuers Down Under, ...), and captured the mood of the first installment well, and didn't even sacrifice animation quality along the way. The 'puter-animated evil pipe organ (voiced by Tim Curry, no less) makes an ominous villain, though mobility would have made him a little more fearsome. The songs, which aren't done by the usual Disney team, are good but not great; at the very least, they don't make the viewer wish that they'd get back to the story. Bonus points for a sassy Christmas ornament named Angelique, but minus points for a "Jewish" axe which, if you're easily offended, would probably be considered offensive. Nevertheless, I enjoyed it, and the beast growled a lot, and they didn't spend too much time on "the *real* meaning of Christmas," a sure way to put me to sleep. *** / *****, +1* for kids.
Seven Years in Tibet -- If ever a case were made that Hollywood is a government propaganda machine, this movie would be a strong plus in the case for. It's also 1/3 of a data point encouraging belief in the Law of Threes. However, it's more than just an anti-China propaganda piece, as Red Corner and that upcoming movie I can't remember the title of seem like. It's also about how wonderful the main character, Heinrich Harrer, is. Interspersed with a few choice koans of "eastern philosophy" is Harrer's superiority complex. While the young Dalai Lama doesn't /quite/ ask, "Heinrich, tell me more of your wonderful Western civilization and its marvelous ways, even though I, as a member of a poor, backwards culture would not hope to understand the glory that is you?", he /does/ ask things like, "Heinrich, do you have all the answers?" Fortunately, the author of the screenplay did what she could to downplay this and other disgusting aspects of Harrer's philosophy. What we're left with is a compelling story, beautiful backdrops for it, and a tale of an individual getting in touch with himself, blah, blah, blah. It's very well put together, and if you can ignore the heavy-handed political statements and Brad Pitt's occasionally-vanishing German accent (though not nearly as bad as cohorts Reeves and Costner), you'll enjoy this movie -- with reservations, I did, so I'll recommend it to you. I certainly liked parts of its message better than the ones in several recent other "epic" films (English Patient, Forrest Gump), which made the preaching part more bearable. Free Tibet! ***+1/2 / *****
Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil -- A truly excellent movie... with a couple problems. Unfortunately, it will only appeal to (my uneducated guess here) about 2% of moviegoers, while the rest will be content to talk about how deep Braveheart was. Anyway, the movie's wide selection of -- things -- is its strength, as well as the characters' interaction with each other and with the various plot elements. Unfortunately, the set direction was (for the most part) inept, and there were a few plot points that either shouldn't have been there or should have been expanded to fit in to the overall picture. In particular, the obnoxious romantic interludes between Kelso (Cusack) and that blonde (Clint Eastwood's attractive daughter) were really unnecessary, and should have been dropped or made relevant. Also, one "shocker!" scene at which Lady Chablis (played by Lady Chablis) attends a fraternity party with Kelso was a pointless waste of time. The film's portrayal of voodoo was fairly vanilla, also, which was somewhat disappointing. Despite these (and a few other) scenes, though, there are several layers of story here that take all the spare time the movie offers you to decipher, if you dare. If you don't, catch "Seven Years In Tibet", it'll do your thinking for you. ****+1/4 / *****, would have been higher with some better editing.
Mortal Kombat: Annihilation -- Coming from someone who really enjoyed the original (see it if you haven't! It's better than it sounds!), this is definitely the movie to skip this week. Take all the elements that made MK (the original) charming and fun, get rid of them, then add an inept director trying to duplicate the feel of the original, and you've got MK:A. The special effects, which could have saved it, were laughably bad in parts. Animality? What were they thinking? Eeyargh. Nevertheless, there's a good fight scene or two in there, as well as the soon-to-be-classic line, "You really look good in mud." Yeah. There are enough gratuitous cleavage shots to satisfy the 13-year-olds in the audience who play too much Mortal Kombat to see the real thing, and that's who this one's aimed at. If you don't consider yourself a part of this exclusive group, wait for video or miss it completely. ** / *****
Anastasia -- Yet another movie involving Cusack, who's enjoying quite a nice comeback. So... I liked Anastasia. At parts, the animation was really off, but also in parts it was beyond Diz-nee quality. Some of the songs were forgettable, one was just bad, and a couple will stick in my mind for a while. What really differentiates this from the recent Diz-nee animated flix, though, are the characters. They're all plucky, and Anya, in particular, is just a bona-fide bundle o' sass. Rasputin, falling apart and talking to cockroaches, was more amusing than scary, and even the comic relief character wasn't too annoying. Be careful, though, lest you think that this movie was *at all* based in fact, because it isn't. I expect the decision was made by the marketing people to attempt to make it "real" so they could write catchy marketing slogans like "The Greatest Mystery Of Our Time! Ooo!" You should see it, if only to wake Diz-nee back up to making /decent/ animated movies. Watch for the shopping-in-Paree scene. 'sgood. ***+1/2 / *****
Alien Resurrection -- It was better than I expected, but not as good as I had hoped. Stars Ripley (played by that actress who played Ripley before), Winona Ryder as the pacifist humanist istist, the bad guy from The Crow as a pirate captain, and a complete 180 performance by the guy who was in City of Lost Children as the main adult character as a wisecrackin' pirate, and the guy who looks like a cross between Nixon and Dole. How can you go wrong with a cast like this, you may ask. The answer is a complete lack of scriptwriting skill (well, not complete. There are a couple moments), as well as showing us nothing that we haven't seen before, either effects- or plotwise. Sure, they're pretty, and pretty wild, but nothing really spectacular (I liked the underwater scene, though). While a few lines did deliver a laugh or two, the desire to get more and more disgusting as the movie moved along made it somewhat lacking in any tense or scary scenes. Still, it wasn't too bad. ***+1/2 / *****
Flubber -- If I was ten years old, I would really have loved this movie. As it was, I didn't. This isn't to say that there weren't a few funny bits in there, and Wesley Crusher getting his ass kicked by >anybody< is worth the admission price... I'd been wanting to see that for a while now. Not to mention, the Danny Elfman score is excellent. The main problem with this movie (besides that it relies on heavy objects hitting people and fart noises and high fives for humor, chiefly) is that it's got a really inconsistent set of characters; but since it's made for kids, I guess Disney figured they'd get away with it (and they're probably right). Props go to the villain for admitting he's oh-so-evil, stopping just shy of, "Oh, and did I mention I sell babies on the black market?" The "tender" machine-empathy scenes were somewhat out-of-place, for the most part, and I question why a college at which a professor who can make a flying car, a levitating robot with perfect AI, and who knows what else is in dire financial straits. Final recommendation: Skip it, to protest Disney's disgusting marketing tactics (wedging Anastasia between a rock and a hard place). Rent George of Jungle, instead. It has better sound effects -- and monkeys, too. **+1/2 / *****
The Man Who Knew Too Little -- Going into this movie expecting the awful (it's been nearly universally panned by critics), I was surprised to really like this one, though it would have been better with someone who didn't overact quite so much in the lead. (but in many scenes, it was appropriate) Cross a blackmail plot gone awry with a rather odd way of restarting the cold war, and you've set the scene. Add Bill Murray as a Blockbuster Video clerk on vacation, who thinks he's acting in some grand "Theater of Life," and there you have it. The ridiculous antics and plot "twists" are to be expected, and even welcomed in a movie like this (unlike, say, a recent thriller), and the flick is at its best when it's going farthest off the deep end. They did go a little off the deep end with the "you're the best" "American Superman" schtick, which got old after the 8th time it popped up. But, as I'm a sucker for silly spy spoofs which aren't completely awful, I really liked it. YMMV -- and I can almost guarantee you won't like it as much as I did... **** / *****
John Grisham's The Rainmaker -- So far, this movie wins the "unintentionally funny movie of the year award." Though I'm hoping for "The Postman" (coming out 12/25) to take the award away, this one will always be memorable. It features several completely inept lawyers, several completely eeeeeeevil lawyers (and the eeeeeevil corporation they represent), a few good guys, and plenty of activities that'd get you disbarred for life. I was laughing at the mistakes Matt Damon's character makes, and I don't know much about law. The lawyers sitting next to me were laughing even more often, usually adding something legal-sounding in Latin and laughing even more at that. Lawyers... can't live with 'em, can't purge them from the planet. Still a pretty fun movie, though, all things considered. Hey, it made me laugh, and compared to several "comedies" that have been released recently, that's a step up. **+9/10 / *****
Scream 2 -- Countless horror movie in-jokes and a few Quentin Tarantino references, along with a self-parody that's just absolutely hilarious (I think that unless you remember Scream, you will really miss a lot), and people making fun of sequels makes this sequel at the very least amusing, even if it is a big ol' geek joke. (They actually got Tori Spelling to star as a role she was mockingly proscribed for in Scream. Ha. I don't like her.) It would have been better had they passed out scream masks for the opening night show at the movie theater. Cool. And little plastic knives. I think I liked the original Scream better -- it had less in jokes, which really in the long run detract something -- but this one still had its share of great scenes. (The cell phone. The recording studio. Yeah, baby! Yeah!) Incidentally, my favorite scary movie is the one that was never released theatrically, which featured Bobcat Goldthwait and Whoopi Goldberg naked. Eeek! ****+11/973 / *****
Amistad -- This week, Steven Spielberg decided to boldly go where no one has gone before and denounce slavery as bad! Wow! "Rebel" will be written on his grave, I think. Seriously, though, he really didn't pay enough attention to the people whose case it was, and spent far too much time on the lawyers involved. Sure, it was a legal extravaganza, but he didn't show Adams's full speech, I can tell you that... so much for accuracy. Compare the one named African part vs. all the other characters -- there are even two abolitionists involved. Nevertheless, despite the heavy-handed imagery which made me vaguely ill, the story is interesting and moving enough on its own to cover for Spielberg's mistakes. Things like this really aren't taught in elementary school, and while this is hardly a substitute for the real thing, it'll spark some interest (TLC had a special on La Amistad, probably in response to this.) Some of the emotional impact was lost, because of the length and the fact that we had to sit through not one, not two, but three trial scenes. Oif. Still, either see this movie or read "the book". It may surprise you. ***+1/2 / *****
The Ice Storm -- My family needs to see this one. Heh heh. A look at the horror of the 70s in all of its splendor, including bad hair and silly clothes. (Hey! Hollywood people! Not *everyone* dresses the same way!) In addition, it also included the more subtle horror of questionable lifestyle choices and the mundanity of it all. There hasn't been this much angst per capita since "The Crow." Despite the stilted dialog, which sometimes didn't even resemble human communication, the interaction between the characters and the way they "mature" is a joy to behold. There were also several moments I found extremely funny even if no one else in the theater was laughing. Hmph. Kevin Kline is excellent (as usual?), Sigourney Weaver proves once again that she's capable of exactly one and a half facial expressions (one only counts for half, since it's a variation of the first), and the kids (ranging from 10 to 16 or so?) were all surprisingly believable, compared to many child actors, especially since they had fairly large parts. So, if you wanna see death, depression, sex, and lots of Ice, give it a look. **** / *****
Tomorrow Never Dies -- Pierce Brosnan proves he can drink Martinis with the best of 'em, despite the fact that they're nasty. It wasn't his fault that James was written to do a couple pretty out-of-character things in a couple places. These faux pas (what's the plural of faux pas, anyway?) are forgivable, though, because this flick just... doesn't... quit. From Bond in-jokes to geek in-jokes to stunts to guns to (finally) an ass-kickin' Bond girl, this sequel is far and away better than Goldeneye, and a must-see for action fans, Bond fans, or people stuck in rush hour traffic. One of the main complaints I've seen with the movie, the gratuitous product placement, didn't bug me. So there. See this one on the big screen, and pray that the bad guys don't hire better helicopter pilots next time. **** / *****
Titanic -- Even a vapid, transparent story and Leonardo DiCaprio couldn't ruin Titanic. I was expecting a vapid, transparent story and Leonardo DiCaprio saying annoying things in an annoying way, though, so maybe I was prepared for it. While it's not the masterpiece many are claiming it to be (must be a cross between Leo's sex appeal, $200 million, and a collective James Cameron hard-on), this is still an excellent movie with an excellent cast (with one notable exception), excellent editing, and, dare I say it, a reasonably good romantic plot (ignoring the last 3rd of the movie, here), despite the fact that we've seen (or read, or written, even) dozens of times in the past, often better. So, I liked it, I'm glad it's doing well, and maybe next time Cameron will take note of my review, which he will no doubt read early and often, and hire a real screenwriter. Make *sure* you see this on the big screen, it will definitely lose something in the transition. **** / *****
Jackie Brown -- While this tiresome beast would have made a good 1-hour made-for-TV special, I've personally come to expect more from QT. Maybe if you haven't seen any other QT movies and seen his style of dialog before, you'd find parts of this funny. As it is, he recycles all his jokes, doesn't come up with anything really new, and doesn't do the recycled material that well anyway. As usual, the stupidity of the cops made me cringe, and the "plot twists" weren't. For a QT movie, I yawned way too often, time of day notwithstanding. What some critics are calling "maturity" on his part is perhaps true, but if this is mature, give me back Quentin's inner child. I will grudgingly admit that there were several good scenes, however, which saved the movie from being a total loss, and the actors did reasonable jobs for the most part. At least they got rid of Chris Tucker early; after Money Talks, his schtick has outworn its welcome. If you are put off by the gore in other QT movies, you may consider seeing this one as sort of a warmup. **+1/2 / *****
As Good as it Gets -- As far as romantic comedies go, this is going to be the one to beat for a while, ranking all the way up there with When Harry Met Sally..., one of my all-time faves for this category. Jack Nicholson manages to make an eminently hatable character nearly lovable, which is an impressive feat in itself (example line: "Where'd they teach you to talk like that, some sailor wanna hump-hump bar in Panama? Go sell crazy some place else, we're all stocked up here." I had to include this 'cause it's the best line from a movie I've seen in a while.). The supporting cast all do well, too... finally, Greg Kinnear is in a popular movie -- I've personally liked his others, but I'm pretty much alone in that. Don't miss this, whether you go for the insulting humor, the regular humor, or the romantic bits. Only hard-hearted cynics and maybe a goth or two wouldn't like this wonderful movie. ****+1/2 / *****