A Civil Action -- A bad movie about a bad lawyer. I don't think it comes as news to anyone who has their head out of the sand that there are companies out there that
Prince of Egypt -- The first non-Disney, non-anime feature-length animated movie that measures up to the best the Mouse has to offer, the Prince of Egypt is quite an impressive feat. Not only technically excellent, especially when compared to Anastasia, which was mediocre most of the time and terrible in parts, to say nothing of what promises to be the horribly animated version of The King and I (coming soon), Prince of Egypt also has the bonus that it has a real story to tell. As much as I loved Disney's Beauty and the Beast, it's hard to take a movie with lecherous candelabras particularly seriously. Although I would personally have tried to keep the gratuitous singing out of it, the musical numbers all work, and some of them are accompanied by impressively cool animation effects (the hieroglyphics are the best example of this -- watch the movie, you'll see what I mean). Overall, I'm glad someone other than WB is attempting to branch into the animated market, especially when that someone is Dreamworks. **** / *****
Varsity Blues -- Possibly a telling blow to the movie is that the only lasting impression it leaves is the main character (Moxon) tossing a football and beaning some guy on a horse. Yeah. There ought to be more guys falling off of horses after getting hit by footballs in movies, you know? Ostensibly, the movie is a coming-of-age tale of the hero's journey, from nothing second-stringer to town idol. However, we realize that Our Hero is smart because he reads books while sidelined. I felt for him right there, persecuted for reading instead of cultivating his amazing athletic skills or his boyish good looks that all teens would kill for. In any case, I don't need to say anything about the plot because you know how it goes whenever you get an underdog and a sports team and an evil coach together. Then, there's the girlfriend that starts out a sports-hater but by the end is cheering along side Biff Wonderboy, the steroids-using QB. Feh. ** + 1/2 / *****
A Simple Plan -- Overlooked by the Academy, A Simple Plan is Sam Raimi's (of Evil Dead fame) first attempt to go legit, and it deserved far more accolades than it actually received. Similar in structure to best-of-1998's Very Bad Things, A Simple Plan skips the humor and instead goes for the psychological harm that can be caused in terrible situations that can have no positive outcome. Friends turn to enemies, brothers question their roles, old family secrets are dredged up, and no one is quite who they appear to be when the chips are down, and the pot is several million dollars. Features Oscar-quality performances from Bridget Fonda and Billy Bob Thornton, beautiful cinematography, and a very tight plot guaranteed to keep you nervous, even if the climax doesn't quite ring true. **** + 1/8 / *****
She's All That -- Stud du jour Freddy Prinze Jr. stars in this teen-Pygmalion flick that has no excuse for ever being greenlighted. Kieran Culkin is irritating. The female leads are irritating. Matthew Lillard is irritating, but he's supposed to be, in the only good joke of the movie, a Real World star gone awry. Besides the fact that this sort of thing has been done before and done better, we are also treated to one of my least favorite movie transformations; interesting geek-person (usually female) to trendy slut to fashion. I. Hate. That. It was bad enough in the Breakfast Club, but at least there dialog was interesting and believable. Here we have young stars and starlets, none of whom look remotely high-school age, popping witticisms that aren't at each other and posing prettily. Movies like this make me question the existence of the genre, but then I remember that the target demographic wasn't alive when Star Wars was released for the first time. ** + 1/2 / *****
Waking Ned Devine -- In a word, overrated. Excepting a few charming and genuinely touching moments, I found the entire film devoid of humor, character, and interest. Multiple subplots surrounding the town's citizens failed to grab my attention, and the lead characters just weren't that interesting. It's no revelation that people will lie for money, nor is it a revelation that older folks can have a good time, too (although it's true that you don't see it often in film). The cute antics of a middle-of-nowhere town with funny accents just did not bring a smile to my face. Even the ending came out of nowhere, totally inappropriate for the genre -- which I am guessing is supposed to be lightweight comedy/drama. If you want to culture yourself and see a foreign film, try something worthwhile that doesn't merely change the settings of any other Hollywood 'screwball comedy'. ** + 3/4 / *****
Rushmore -- Brilliant comedy starring teenagers (not a teen comedy, mind you) which focuses on revenge, friendship, love, and what /really/ matters in life. **** + 1/2 / *****
Playing By Heart -- Vaguely generic and predictable, yet ultimately entertaining, look at the lives of a family and those touched by it. Warm fuzzies all Tround. *** / *****
Payback -- Action movie which is entertaining, but really doesnUt make that much sense -- but I really dig the premise. *** + 1/2 / *****
Elizabeth -- Sure, it's a period drama, but it doesn't delve into familiar period-piece territory, instead opting for a much darker retelling of the Virgin Queen's story. Striking, with an amazing performance from Cate. **** + 1/4 / *****
Still Crazy -- An odd twist on the band-road-trip movie, this one centers on a comeback tour of 70s rockers Strange Fruit. Alternately drama and comedy, both halves work well and make a pleasing, goofy-grin sort of film. *** + 3/4 / *****
Simply Irresistible -- Cheesy romantic comedy featuring Buffy the Vampire Slayer, magic crabs, and food that makes you levitate. I loved it. **** / *****
Blast From the Past -- Brendan Fraser's fish-out-of-water expression, cultivated in George of the Jungle, is rehashed here as a 60s boy with the mentality of a 15-year-old being unleashed on the modern world. Lots of opportunities for great laughs simply aren't taken, and Alicia Silverstone is still annoying. ** + 3/4 / *****
Message in a Bottle -- Long and boring and tiresome and unbelievable, this "love" story about two people who never seem to be convincingly paired is Costner's latest failure. Trite imagery and tiresome dialog irritate throughout. ** / *****
My Favorite Martian -- Just when you thought you had seen the worst of the remakes of old TV shows, something like this comes along and makes you really pity the actors involved. * + 1/2 / *****
Office Space -- Someone made a movie about where I work. If it wasn't so painful and so true, it would be funny. The second half skids away from the good bits, concentrating on a rather boring get-rich-quick scheme. *** / *****
We All Fall Down -- Italian comedy/drama that examines post-student (post-poor-student, particularly) life in Italy, in the form of a guy who /really/ doesn't know what he wants to do next. I've been there. *** + 1/3 / *****
Cleopatra's Second Husband -- Dark comedy involving brutal rape, sex, and revenge. Not for the faint of heart. *** + 3/4 / *****
Claudine's Return -- Slow-moving artsy movie about a guy falling in love with the wrong (lesbian) girl. Typical art-house flick, slow and introspective -- but not particularly interesting, in this case. ** + 1/2 / *****
Goodbye, 20th Century -- The strangest movie I've ever seen. Spans several centuries of sinners, saints, and santas. Did I mention it's the strangest movie I've ever seen? **** + 1/2 / *****
Jawbreaker -- An incredibly derivative teen angst and murder movie which owes any audience it gets to shades of Heathers, Jawbreaker is a poorly-acted mess that is both irritating and forgettable, a devastating one-two punch of mediocrity that it never even seems to try to break free of. All the style of Heathers is gone, replaced by perkiness and an attempt at adding a character-transformation sort of subplot which simply does not work; the characters are far too shallow and boring to be at all believable. Granted, the characters were _supposed_ to be shallow and boring and unbelievable, but that still didn't make it more interesting to watch them lead their shallow, unbelievable lives. Do yourself a favor and re-watch Heathers. One or two interesting scenes save this movie from 'walkout' status. * + 4/5 / *****
October Sky -- An inspirational, feel-good story supposedly based on the life of the real Homer Hickam, rocket scientist. I can't imagine the man's life is as predictable as the movie seems to make it; perhaps it's the inclusion and exclusion of specific scenes that make it so. Regardless, we find the movie is filled with cliched people from all walks of life, from the source-of-inspiration-who-must-in-the-end-die, to the dense-but-well-meaning-friend, to the old-ways-are-the-best-ways-father. Is this how life actually was back then? Glad I'm in the more turbulent 90s. Nevertheless, for the non-cynical, this all won't be a problem, and underneath the trite surface lies a good story about discovery and fighting the odds that's worth telling. Take your kids, or your neighbor's kids, if you don't have some of your own. *** + 1/4 / *****
Wing Commander -- Yet another video game come to the big screen, this one is somewhat different in that it was never on the big screen of the video game world, and only on computers and home game machines everywhere. Still, it's a *good* game, as any aficionado can tell you. This, of course, means that the movie made from it will probably be a really awful, low-budget test of patience. I was pleasantly surprised by WC, which while not a good movie by any stretch of the imagination, was an entertaining film, especially for the video gamers in the audience (which consisted, in my case, mostly of people wanting to see the Star Wars trailer). Inept acting is expected, and doesn't disappoint, starring wishes-he-said-no Freddie Prinze Jr., Matthew Lillard, and some model. Watching it made me want to play some space simulator games, which I guess in the end is the point of the endeavor. ** + 1/2 / *****
The Corrupter -- A stylish but not quite up to par action/detective/kinetic gunfight film starring one of the best actors making the transition to Hollywood today... Markie Mark? No. Chow Yun-Fat, of course. Able to convey more cool in a single smile than his co-star can in the course of the movie, he deserves something better than this script which is not necessarily bad, but not necessarily good, either. *** / *****
8MM -- What do you get when you cross a nails-on-chalkboard stupid plot with one of the worst directors in Modern Memory? You get the pseudo-pornographic, wanna-be shocker, 8MM, which tries so hard to offend you get the idea the only person convinced it's offensive is the director and the movie critic who could've gone to see 'Cleopatra's Second Husband' instead. Nick Cage stars as a P.I. whose dark side consists entirely of smoking and lying to his wife, investigating the making of a snuff film. This, in and of itself, does not a bad movie make. But when the detective hijinx give way to actually finding who and what the detective is looking for, look out world! 'cause the guy who brought you Batman and Robin is happy to bring you equally one-dimensional Evil Guys, who seem to have a common bond only in their desire to be Really Bad. It's also a big shocker when the True Identity of one of the Bad Guys is revealed, or at least it's supposed to be, and Cage's slide into immorality is likewise supposed to show something, but the bad guys are so damned mean there really isn't a constructive comparison made. Perhaps with a script rewrite and a competent director, 8MM would have been this year's _Seven_, but instead it'll just be content to end up number Seven on the year's ten worst films. * + 1/2 / *****
Ravenous -- More movies ought to be made about cannibalism, and this quirky, sometimes-scary movie proves that. A strangely anti-war message is added to the already odd package. *** + 3/4 / *****
The Mod Squad -- I see shit like this so you don't have to. Avoid at all costs. Not even fun when drunk. 1/2 / *****
10 Things I Hate About You -- Though Shakespeare's Kate didn't have a whole lot of bite to her, 10 Things's Kate never even started with much. Beats most in-release teen flicks, though. Watch for the scenes with the girls' dad, which make the movie worth the trouble. ** + 4/5 / *****
The Matrix -- Stylish, wonderful thriller which will hopefully breathe life into a genre inundated with garbage. Gun battles and visual effects are simply amazing, and the attitude of the movie as a whole, similar to _Bound_, is great. "Deep" philosophy, though, it ain't. **** + 1/4 / *****
Analyze This -- Mostly charming gangster/psychologist movie whose humor stems from DeNiro making fun of his past characters and Crystal being himself. Poor ending detracts from the experience. *** / *****
The Out-of-Towners -- Boring, painful movie involving Steve Martin and Goldie Hawn proving once and for all that even if they could have once done physical comedy, it's way too late for them. John Cleese's role is too small. ** / *****
EdTV -- Satire on satire on satire, EdTV subtlely and probably unintentionally makes fun of its core audience, and probably its director. High marks for that alone -- humor and story are weak, eventual plot solution contrived. *** + 1/2 / *****
Go -- Sharp and stylish Tarantino-esque movie (even following the three-storylines bit) whose characters are quirkier than Pulp Fiction's to make up for the somewhat less inspired dialog; nevertheless, it's fast and it works. *** + 1/4 / *****
Twin Dragons -- Perhaps the worst Chan flick I've ever seen, Twin Dragons is short on stunts and long on the most annoying sidekick ever put to celluloid, and that *includes* Jar Jar. ** / *****
Never Been Kissed -- In case you still needed proof that Drew "Poison Ivy" Barrymore could be cute, look no further. I still think I liked her 'Ivy' persona better, but if you've been reading my reviews you'd know that already. *** / *****
Goodbye Lover -- Twisty thriller involving backstabbing and betrayal which ultimately failed for me because I just didn't care who was going to screw who next. ** + 1/2 / *****
Pushing Tin -- Tiresome one-joke movie which outlives its welcome at about the same time it attempts to get serious, perhaps even a little bit before, but Angelina Jolie and John Cusack are in it. ** + 1/2 / *****
eXistenZ -- Entry #2 into the summer VR pile, it's typical Cronenberg; very odd, surreal, and with all sorts of squishy biological looking things which are vaguely sexual in nature. I loved it, but Videodrome was better. **** / *****
Life -- I think I must have something against the comedy/drama. While there are dramatic bits that work and comedic bits that work here, overall it's just two hours of the same thing, and a lot of swear words. Better than The Nutty Professor and Dr. Doolittle, to Murphy's credit. ** + 3/4 / *****
Entrapment -- One would _think_ that any movie starring the first James Bond and perhaps the most beautiful woman on the planet couldn't be bad. One would be mistaken, because this glossy, substanceless, yawn-inducing actioner spends too much time on all the wrong things. ** / *****
Idle Hands -- Sick, depraved, tasteless, disgusting, insulting, degrading, vile, beautiful. A non-Troma Troma movie. **** / *****
The Mummy -- A slick thriller reminiscent of Indiana Jones that doesn't resemble the source material at all. Quick and fun, a good time will be had by all. Dare I say, though, that there was a little too much gun battling? It's just not as cool with old-school pistols. *** + 1/2 / *****
A Midsummer Night's Dream -- A quirky remake of the Bard's work which is mostly faithful to the original, it's fun for Shakespeare fans but will probably confuse some of the younger audience. Not that that's a bad thing. *** + 3/4 / *****
Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace -- After a 10-year hiatus, I expected more. A whole lot more. Except a lot less of Jar Jar and small, irritating children who can't act, and theories of immaculate conception. Bah. Feh. Hopefully Ep2 will be a little less saccharine. *** / *****
Notting Hill -- Julia Roberts plays herself, which is about the only thing that isn't a stretch for her, and Hugh Grant does an excellent job doing his usual. The amazing supporting cast of British actors steals the show. It's cute, it's funny, and (wow) it's good. *** + 3/4 / *****
Black Mask -- After an excellent, gory first scene, Mask loses its steam and retreads more of the same water. For those watching a Jet Li film for the first time after Lethal Weapon IV, I urge you to rent something better. One or two action sequences try to excuse it, but... well, they don't. ** + 4/5 / *****
The Thirteenth Floor -- Our third and least publicized VR movie of the summer, Thirteenth Floor is a very "traditional" sci-fi movie (albeit one that's understandable to everyone) and thus, since it doesn't involve firefights and explosions, is unlikely to garner a huge market share. Rent it anyway! It's good stuff, and a good starter to show your friends who haven't yet experienced science fictiony goodness. **** / *****
The Love Letter -- Unrealistic characters interact unrealistically, I couldn't identify with any of them (granted I'm waaay out of the target demographic), and the big surprise was as transparent as the drool scrambling its way out of the corner of my mouth as I tried to stay awake. ** + 1/8 / *****
Instinct -- In addition to pirates and cannibals, monkeys are underrepresented in Hollywood today. Although scientifically unsound, the story of escape and freedom is quite a moving one, and the depiction of the prison for insane folks is believably bleak. Slow parts bog down an otherwise excellent film. *** + 7/8 / *****
Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me -- Boring retread of the same material, while it's got one or two laughs in it (most of which come in the first 15 minutes), the rest is the same as we've seen before, and call me crazy, but I just don't see what's funny about a midget who likes to bite people... at least, I don't see what's funny about it THE 300TH TIME. Here's hoping that the second sequel, which is an inevitability at this point, will be better. ** + 1/4 / *****
The General's Daughter -- Horrible psychosexual 'thriller' involving a transparent plot, transparent, one-note characters, and a remarkably inept "conspiracy" that is as incompetent as movie-bad-guys get. The writer(s) apparently didn't bother to do much research on government cover-ups, both alleged, proven, and blatantly fictitious. James Woods provides the only remotely entertaining (if not believable) performance. * + 1/4 / *****
Tarzan -- Somewhat hesitantly, I will proclaim this the best Disney movie since Beauty and the Beast. The animation is spectacular and exciting, the action is fast and intense, and the conservationist politics professed by the good guys are easy to swallow. Themes of motherhood, childhood, and white-folks-iz-bad all work, some to lesser degrees than others. Disney's villains are getting a tad repetitive. **** / *****
Big Daddy -- A vaguely adult Sandler vehicle(!) which begins by showing the sort of trouble irresponsibility can get you into, and ends by saying that responsibility, diligence, and maturity will get you to a point where you are a successful lawyer and you can laugh at your ex who now works at Hooters. Unfortunately, all the interesting bits occur when Sandler and his kid are being irresponsible. What kind of message is that? Exactly the one I'd encourage! Yee-haw! *** / *****
Wild Wild West -- A mindless action movie which -- while remaining true to the _concept_ of the original series -- butchers its material pretty significantly. The action is sometimes fun but almost always unnecessary, and the humor is only on when poking fun at minorities (Southerners, for the purposes of this discussion, are a minority) and the disabled. I wanted to see more of the weird German chicks, and less computer-animated spiders and explosions. Smith and Kline don't click, which doesn't help. ** + 3/4 / *****
South Park: Bigger, Longer, Uncut -- Any movie in which a character has to swear creatively to save the world is okay in my book. Add to this harsh jokes about nearly everything and everyone, and snipes at more well-known works, and a song called 'Blame Canada', and you've got yourself the funniest thing on screen in a very long time. **** + 1/4 / *****
Summer of Sam -- While Lee's created a good sense of place and time, the characters (except for the punk-rocker) are all one-dimensional boors, especially lead John Leguizamo, who I absolutely can't stand to watch for more than ten minutes at a time. Some scenes and ideas show flashes of Lee's brilliance, but they just don't cut it. ** + 5/6 / *****
Run Lola Run -- An excellent what-if twitch movie centered around Lola, whose boyfriend is going to get killed in 20 minutes if she can't find 100,000DM before then. Quick shots of how her journey affects other people's lives are interesting and intense, and the pounding soundtrack which is only rarely off adds to the already tangible sense of urgency. **** / *****
American Pie -- One word you'll hear often from me in movie reviews is 'overrated,' but only because it applies so often. The situations in AP are amusing, but the dialog is just not that interesting, and the characters are the kind of people no one really liked in high school -- not quite geeks, but not quite the cool kids either. Scenes involving the band geek, who reminded me of my sister (hi Rachel!), made the movie worthwhile. *** / *****
Blair Witch Project -- Did I mention I'll be saying 'overrated' a lot? This year's summer blockbuster was filmed on only $20,000, give or take, and it's supposed to be REALLY SCARY, but REALLY ISN'T. Irritating losers in the theater didn't help, but I wouldn't have been spooked anyway. If I want to see college students yelling at each other, there are better ways to do so. The premise was neat, but in the end, it is what made suspension of disbelief go out the window. Still, I'm glad this sort of movie can reach a mainstream audience. *** / *****
Eyes Wide Shut -- Kubrick's swansong is a bizarre jaunt through conspiracy and human psyche, pausing just long enough to include Nicole Kidman who takes off her clothes a lot. No matter what one thinks of the themes (which are debatable) it's still interesting and somewhat thought-provoking. Still, it's not for everyone. Leave your 50s sensibilities at the door. **** / *****
Lake Placid -- Taking the horror-comedy genre in a new direction, Lake Placid concentrates less on scary creatures and visuals (as The Mummy tended to rely on) and more on the interaction of the human characters. Thus, for the first half of the movie, when all the screen time is devoted to the characters insulting each other, Lake Placid is ceaselessly entertaining; a battle of insults between a prissy New York woman who doesn't like ticks, Bill Pullman's quasi-constipated Fish & Game guy, the hick town sheriff, and a wacky millionaire who isn't nearly as annoying as his sort of character usually is. Unfortunately, the last third is devoted to tracking and trapping the creature, which is just not as interesting as the characters. Suspense and horror are never really generated. Overall, though, a quirky look at a genre rapidly becoming saturated with tiresome Scream clones. *** + 1/3 / *****
The Wood -- A character study of three Inglewood youths, and their "trials and tribulations," The Wood succeeds in the former and doesn't in the latter. The main characters are all acted extremely well, and by the end of the movie we really know what makes them tick, and we're happy at all the right moments and sad at all the right moments. Unfortunately, in getting there, we see absolutely no conflict. Never once does it seem like any of them are going through hard times in any sense of the phrase, and that detracts from the story. I'm not calling for grim and disturbing, just... /something/. *** / *****
Inspector Gadget -- Tiresome remake of the cartoon which totally destroys everything /I/ liked about the 'toon itself. Sure, Gadget is still incompetent, but he's not /nearly/ as ridiculous as in the toons, and the problems stem from inexperience more than anything else. Gone is uber-genius Penny and uber-dog-genius Brain; they're relegated to barely-anything roles to make way for a sexy doctor. Feh! There's no ROMANCE in a Saturday morning kids' cartoon! The biggest transgression, however, is the portrayal of Dr. Claw (NOT one word, like Madonna, dammit) as an evil rich genius, instead of the enigmatic hoarse-voiced guy whom you never see. Also added is the trash-talkin' Gadgetmobile, included to sell toys and make 5-year-olds laugh. Grr! The movie is only funny when Evil Gadget is destroying things. * + 1/4 / *****
Drop Dead Gorgeous -- Deadly funny, and (as you'd guess) gorgeous, this movie is a vicious bite at what is certainly an easy target. Nevertheless, that doesn't make it any less vicious, or any less amusing. A mockumentary taking place in a small town that will never be, yet is certainly a great place to visit, DDG is brutal in its treatment of almost all the town's residents, from the hardware store owner to the town pedophile, who is one of the more amusing characters in a rather disquieting way. Sure, Kirstie Alley overacts, and there's very little that would make you believe that something like this could ever happen, but it just doesn't matter. Even at its dramatic, "tear-jerking" moments, it's funny, and succeeds in garnering sympathy for the main character, which is something that isn't easy to do in a black comedy. Some dry spells in the humor detract from the overall experience. *** + 3/4 / *****
Deep Blue Sea -- One of the signs of a mediocre-to-bad horror movie is that you end up cheering for the serial killer/monster/alien menace/disease to eat all the main characters and put them out of your misery. Such is the case with Deep Blue Sea, in which the sharks were a whole lot cooler than the humans, and ultimately just wanted to be free, which is a noble goal as many other Hollywood movies would tell you. On the good side, though, LL Cool J really can act, and thus his is the only character I wanted to make it through the film. He's given enough screen time, but not too much for him to wear out his welcome as the tough station chef. There are some religious overtones to the movie I didn't care for, but at the same time, Saffron Burrows (who was in Wing Commander) takes off most of her clothes, there's a hunky guy who never has many clothes on in the first place, and the sharks had lots of teeth and eat people. Yay! ** + 5/6 / *****
Dick -- Destined to be a bomb because its target audience consists of perhaps 100 people nationwide: Those who know most of the details of the Watergate scandal and the key players involved in it -- but in addition are also appreciative of silly teenie movies. I'd guess that there aren't so many people like that, but if you happen to fit the bill, then you really ought to see Dick, a clever revision of history that really *should* have happened, even if it didn't. The portrayal of Woodward and Bernstein is particularly amusing. Unfortunately, parts of the script really don't move as crisply as they ought to. *** + 1/2 / *****
Arlington Road -- I hate reviewing movies I really like, because the whole idea of being a _critic_ is being _critical_. So, I feel obligated to point out that the resolution of Arlington Road was fairly transparent, and Jeff Bridges occasionally overacts. Other than those two minor quibbles, however, this film is brilliant and surprising, a contender for best of the year. Just see it. **** + 5/8 / *****
Sixth Sense -- The phrase "sleeper hit" ought to have been invented for movies like this, even if it wasn't really. The premise, which seems really weak, features Bruce Willis as a psychologist who has a new patient who is a throwback to the patient that he failed the previous year. Willis in a non-action lead with a child costar? Eek! Sounds like an even more boring version of last year's tiresome _Mercury Rising_. This, however, is a completely incorrect analysis. SS is actually an extremely clever 'thriller', though labeling it so clearly is again a mistake. In fact, it's the 'BOO' sorts of shock-scares that are the weakest parts of the movie, and keep it from true excellence -- nevertheless, this is definitely a movie to catch before it hits video. Excellent performances from Willis -- and even more surprisingly from a child actor. **** / *****
The Thomas Crown Affair -- Mediocre love/caper story that didn't at all whet my appetite for Brosnan's Bond film coming out later in the year. This movie was particularly upsetting because of its flashes of total brilliance. The heist scenes bracketing the tiresome and unbelievable cat-and-mouse love story were impressive (except for a hiccup in the second which made no sense -- smacked of 'rewrite'). Unfortunately, the game of cat and mouse which the two leads play was neither deceitful enough nor tricky enough nor sexy enough to really grab me. Rene Russo, who I really like, is just not appropriate as a femme fatale; she's just too tough, and when she's forced by the plot to show signs of weakness (totally unnecessary, in my opinion), it didn't ring true. She'd break Pierce in two equal pieces and still have time for a late supper. ** + 1/2 / *****
The Haunting -- A tiresome remake that flagrantly violates the old horror-story maxim of 'tell, don't show', it's quite appropriate that The Haunting was released near the Blair Witch Project; the two are diametrically opposed to each other on the tell/show spectrum, and thus neither is very good -- but it can certainly be said that the BWP is better, and certainly more original, than this cumbersome special-effects laden beast. Ignoring the ludicrous setup we're forced to endure, and the blatantly painful horror-movie behavior of the leads, we're left with a paper-thin storyline that is boring and forgettable, and a lot of special effects, which are certainly spectacular. Still, with an excellent cast and good source material, one could have expected more. Skip it, unless you want to marvel at the graphics. ** + 1/2 / *****
The Iron Giant -- Despite including the smug wannabe hipness that's a feature of most non-Disney kid movies (and some Disney ones, too), the Iron Giant manages to be a good movie in spite of its heavy-handed politics and traditional morality that are just out of place in a film like this. The underlying story of friendship is cute and amusing and easy to swallow, if a little shallow. There's even a brief Giant Robot Combat Death Orgy scene sure to satisfy the hawks in the audience. Voice acting is good all-round, even the kid who had the potential to be really annoying. *** / *****
Mystery Men -- One of many summer movies which takes a wonderful concept and manages to trash it with an abysmal script -- but fortunately this one has such a good cast that the badness of the script is partially mitigated, and the gleefully ludicrous set design and special effects make up for the rest. Some of the cast, though, are the true heroes that saved this from ending up with fellow superhero flicks Captain America and the Fantastic Four. (never seen them, you say? You didn't miss much.) In particular, Ben Stiller as Mr. Furious (who gets -really- -angry-), William Macy as The Shoveler (he shovels, duh), Jeaneane Garofalo as The Bowler (just like it sounds), and Greg Kinnear as a REAL (but dumb) superhero, Captain Amazing. Everyone else, even the usually excellent Geoffrey Rush, is a varying degree of irritating. Don't make this the one film you see this season, but if you do need to catch it, don't wait for video. I should also add, to the movie's credit, that there is a scene or two of pure genius buried in the badness. ** + 3/4 / *****
Universal Soldier: The Return -- Okay, so when you see a Van Damme movie -- especially a sequel to a Van Damme movie, you shouldn't expect high art. Nor should you expect low art. Nor should you expect a coherent plot, interesting dialog, or well-written characters. Thus, Universal Soldier: The Return delivers on everything it promises, and even manages to add gratuitous nudity to the storyline (did I mention it was gratuitous? "I need to find an Internet connection. Let's stop at the local strip club, they're bound to have one.") So if you really want to see people kick other people and shoot a bunch of guns, this is your movie. If you don't dig on *really* dumb action movies featuring pro wrestlers, just don't go there. ** + 1/2 / *****
Teaching Mrs. Tingle -- At best, this toothless horror/comedy would be described as mediocre, and the only reason it ever got greenlighted, one presumes, is that it is scripted and directed by flavor-of-the-half-decade Kevin Williamson (Scream 3, coming to theaters near you this December...) who has worn out his welcome to me, at least, if this film is an indication of his future direction. It's about three kids who imprison a vastly more intelligent wicked-stepmother teacher who seems to like to be vicious purely for the joy of it. (excuses given in the script don't do it for me) Nods have to be given to Helen Mirren in the (2/3) title role for an excellent performance that saves TMT from Movie Hell... hopefully we'll see her in some interesting roles in the near future. Katie Holmes's single facial expression becomes tiresome. The plot is ludicrous. The 'dark humor' is only a light gray. Next. ** + 1/4 / *****
The 13th Warrior -- Finally, we have a movie that answers the age-old question: "What would happen if you took an average Dungeons and Dragons session and filmed it?" Now you know. Bland plot points, interchangeable characters, and uninspired dialog are intermixed with bloody, intense, and violent Viking combat. And hey, anything with Vikings can't be all bad. Unfortunately, when they aren't killing things, they're rather insipid, and the plot is nonsensical, especially towards the end. Good after a game of DND and a few drinks and Viking songs, but otherwise don't bother. ** + 2/5 / *****
Bowfinger -- Taken seriously, it's a movie about following your dream. Of course, taking Bowfinger seriously would be a mistake. It's a hilarious and sometimes-scathing look at the life of a director in Hollywood, complete with a woman who uses sex to get to the top (the top, here, is very relative) (supposedly this character is based on Anne Heche), Scientologists, irritating phonies, and pretentious big-namers. In between the satire, however, is plain ol' humor, most of which is on the money, especially when Steve Martin or Eddie Murphy are involved; both actors are in top form. My only complaint would be occasional slow stretches in which the plot unfolds, as well as some of the scenes in which Murphy's character is being filmed without his knowledge (some are good, some are repetitive. Nevertheless, this is a clever comedy that ought not to be missed. **** / *****
Dudley Do-Right -- A swing and a miss made great source material mindless garbage, as we've seen so many times in the recent past. Gone is the clumsy melodrama and good-natured bumbling of the cartoon, replaced by Brendan Fraser falling over a lot and a tribe of "Indians" more suited for Las Vegas, and a near-romance with the leading lady. Sure, there is a funny moment or two, but perhaps a little less time should have been spent on Snidely (the villain, for the Uninitiated among you), and more on capturing the charm of an inept mounty. Certainly one that can't dance. I shudder to think what Hollywood is doing with the live-action version of Rocky and Bullwinkle, coming soon to a theater near you. ** / *****
Chill Factor -- Only a week or so after I saw it, I can't really remember much about it. That means something, and it can't be good. It's a lifeless action movie akin to 'Speed' that pits ice-wielding everymen against international uberterrorists with an amazing amount of resources. Guess who ends up on top? No, I didn't say it made a lot of sense. ** / *****
Stir of Echoes -- A good film that could have been great, Stir strays from the concept-image-coolness of its first half to a rather dull and common paranormal detective story in the second. Creepy subplots and characters introduced (well) in the first half are ignored or fall apart in the second. However, for each worthless scene there is a great one; when Kevin Bacon leaves his son with a babysitter, he's haunted by an ominous red glow. Hypnosis scenes involving a darkened theater are certainly the best I've seen. For these and their brethren alone, I don't feel bad recommending this movie to you. *** + 1/2 / *****
Mickey Blue-Eyes -- Probably better than Analyze This, although it goes a little too far into 'dark comedy' territory when it shouldn't, it's the second fish-out-of-water gangster movie to come along in the past year. Despite being a relatively new genre, it seems that it's already played itself out; I saw joke overlap already, and any more would really be stretching thin material to transparency. Nevertheless, Hugh Grant does an excellent job (and is perfect for the role). Other items in the plus column are mostly evident when Hugh is talking to gangsters (all of which are aptly named). Minus points to Jeanne Tripplehorn, who is boring, and to her (character's) father, who takes his role far too seriously. *** / *****
Love Stinks -- Starring a guy I don't know but who has a really annoying voice, Love Stinks is a vicious look at a vicious romance between two vicious people. Man-hating and woman-hating is rampant in the vicious script. Fortunately, when the movie is vicious, it's funny... it's when the jokes get toned down and the plot is forced to advance that it becomes a sleeper. Nevertheless, the conclusion, while pretty obvious, is still fun to watch, if you're feeling sadistic. Not for the easily offended. *** / *****
Blue Streak -- Any movie with Martin Lawrence in it has to be good, right? That is certainly true, providing one has low standards. Not that this film is any better or worse than you'd suspect, really. Adding a twist or two to the buddy-cop genre, there's nothing here you'd really miss, especially if you've seen the previews which contain pretty much all the good jokes. What's left to fill the runtime are bad jokes and action scenes... one out of two of which are reasonably well-done. I'll leave it to you to guess which. Wait for video. *** / *****
Stigmata -- Once again, as if we didn't already know the answer, we have a movie that answers the question, "Can a movie get by with MTV-esque jump-cuts and flashy visual style?" The answer, here, in this film which lacks any sort of coherent plot and internal logic, is no... not unless you can just really have fun watching rather gory scenes of Arquette getting whipped and spiked and such. For me, those cuts got old after the first time (of several). Gabriel Byrne is good, as usual. The message the movie tries to come up with ('Organized religion bad.') is hardly original or even thought-provoking in this instance, as there seems to be no real motive behind the evilness. Of the three supernatural 'thrillers' currently in release, this is by far the worst. ** / *****
American Beauty -- As much as I liked American Beauty -- and I definitely liked American Beauty -- I felt at its conclusion that something was missing. It did all the right things; it pushed buttons, it offended people, it attacked traditional values, and was alternately scathingly funny and uncomfortably disquieting. The acting was (unsurprisingly) excellent, and even the voiceovers didn't leave a bad taste in my mouth. So, then, what was missing? I'll call it 'soul', and leave it at that; similar to several other recent movies (like the Ice Storm), it seems very detached from its subject, which is just not something I think should be done in a film like this, unless blatantly purposefully so. Perhaps it was because one too many subplots were developed? I'm really not sure, but in all honesty it didn't detract /too/ much from the movie, and it's certainly worth seeing. **** / *****
Mumford -- In direct contrast to loud comedies like Blue Streak or Love Stinks, you have 'quiet' comedies such as Mumford or Cold Comfort Farm. Each genre has entrants that run the gauntlet from poor to excellent, but mostly everything lands near the middle. Such is the case here; there are the obligatory hilarious moments, the obligatory quirky characters, and the obligatory romance(s). Some of the quirky characters and romances are more well-scripted than others, and did we really need a courtroom scene, no matter how brief? Nevertheless, Mumford is good-natured throughout (with the possible exception of a bizarre flashback scene), and is near-guaranteed to have you smiling most of the time. Acting is good all-round, though Mumford himself may be too much of a straight-man to quite fit in. *** + 1/2 / *****
For Love of the Game -- For Love of the Game, Kev, give up the damn baseball movies already (not to mention post-apocalyptic action dramas). We know you can do it, because most of us liked Bull Durham and Field of Dreams. We know that your career needs a boost after Waterworld and The Postman bombed, and everyone just sort of forgot to see Tin Cup. How about a new premise, instead? FLotG isn't bad by any stretch of the imagination. I've seen too many bad movies to claim that. But it really isn't that good either. While the game that runs through the movie (which you've seen snips of in previews) is tense and moving, as any good sports-game-movie climax should be, the romance is both uninteresting and unrealistic, both characters spouting platitudes at each other with wild abandon. And who could forget that Kelly Preston is supposed to be in her 30s here? Ha. Kev's digitized hair looks especially pathetic during some scenes. ** + 3/4 / *****
Three Kings -- "Fast" and "intense" are the runners-up to a single word that can easily describe this film: "intense". No matter what else could be said of this political action/drama/comedy movie, one must grant its intensity. A more grim version of Kelly's Heroes set in the gulf war, it chronicles the exploits of four Merkins who hope to get rich from Kuwaiti loot captured by Saddam. Through the course of the movie, we're treated to a never-ending stream of bad guys (including, at times, the main characters), as well as a small minority of good guys. Americans, Saddam, Iraqis, and the press all have their turns at being bad, and most get their turn to shine as well. Brilliantly directed, and sharply acted, the film gets you in its spell and doesn't let you go till the credits roll. The notable exception is people who don't like messages with their movies; this one's is made abundantly clear. **** + 1/4 / *****
Mystery, Alaska -- Mystery is exactly what you'd expect, making its title rather ironic. This is mediocre sports film at its best, featuring an excellent climactic hockey game and very little else, other than angst-ridden townsfolk that quip at each other and whose kids swear because they heard it in the locker room (apparently kids swearing is funny, after South Park). The subplots involving the small town and who is sleeping with who, and whose marriage is having trouble, and who is tired of their lot in life get old after a while, and about a half-hour into the flick you're wondering when the next hockey match is. The hockey match arrives, but it isn't worth the two-hour wait. Nevertheless, watching the first two hours of soap opera isn't /so/ bad, all things considered. It's certainly not as bad as Random Hearts. ** + 1/2 / *****
Random Hearts -- This is certainly the "sleeper" of the fall movie season. Not a sleeper in the traditional sense, but rather a movie that it's difficult not to fall asleep in. I was surprised to hear it was only just over two hours long, as it seemed longer than an aeon. I'm confident I had a more entertaining time reading 'Modern Woman' last time I had to wait at the doctor's office. Describing how terrifically boring this movie is in less than 60,000 words (all of which would be either 'taxi' or 'airport' or 'waiting') is impossible. The person next to me in the theater exclaimed the most honest "Thank God!" that I had heard in a very long time as the movie ended. Save your money and save your time, but remember this in case you ever have someone tied to a chair and wish to torture them. If you MUST see the movie, just catch the preview. Fill in the details yourself, and you'll come up with something better. Dialogue this dry sure didn't come from the heart. * / *****
Fight Club -- One thing's for sure.. movie critics are not necessary for survival in a pure hunter-gatherer society. Whether that's a good thing or not is certainly up for review. This ultraviolent descent into nihilistic insanity, however, is the perfect opportunity for critics everywhere to do something right. For all the people who were turned off by the mostly stupid previews, this is my chance to tell you to ignore them, and go see Fight Club, if you aren't likely to be disturbed for a while by extremely disturbing material, which is surprisingly insistent in the consciousness afterwards. Only a cheap ploy in the third act keeps this from being one of the best films of the decade, but even said ploy is somewhat mitigated in badness by the end. **** + 1/4 / *****
Superstar -- It's not as bad as "A Night at the Roxbury." That's about all you can say for this tiresome vomit from SNL studios. Correction: that's about all _the good things_ you can say about it. Combine a mind-bogglingly dumb premise with boring jokes and gratuitous stupidity from every angle, and you can imagine what you'd get. With the profound lack of talent currently on-screen at SNL (even on the small-screen), they ought to wait until they have a reasonable 90-minute concept before they try this again. (One last good thing, just so you can never claim I'm always negative: there is a decent "fight scene" about midway through. If you get stuck watching this for whatever reason, wait for it.) * + 3/4 / *****
Three to Tango -- A forgettable vehicle for some guy from "Friends," Three To Tango isn't as bad as you might expect. There are a few jokes that work. Mostly, however, I felt vaguely entertained throughout most of its runtime, as you might expect from a good episode of your favorite TV show. Essentially, the plot revolves around ye olde gay/not gay thing, sometimes successfully, other times less so. The ending, which is ridiculous at best, ruined the movie for me. If you have a thing for Neve or Friends, wait for video, otherwise, don't bother. ** + 3/4 / *****
Bringing Out the Dead -- While certainly disquieting, Bringing Out the Dead is essentially an upbeat rehash of Taxi Driver, with a lot of blood thrown in, and twice the number of wacky characters. This isn't really either a bad thing nor a good thing, but it isn't nearly the thought-provoker as Taxi Driver was, and the scenes of ambulances driving at fast-forward pace got very old after a while. Subplots didn't quite tie in with each other quite as well as in many of Scorcese's others do. That said, there are scenes here it's hard not to cringe at (I should add at this point that these scenes you are *supposed* to cringe at), and a lot of powerful imagery. Nicolas Cage makes many stereotypical strung-out Nicolas Cage faces -- surprise! Grim and depressing, though, as usual, and that's always a good thing. *** + 1/2 / *****
Double Jeopardy -- Let me start off by saying, very loudly, that the actual law regarding double jeopardy wouldn't apply in this case. Got that? Good. Going downhill from there, this boring "thriller" is only exciting when Judd is kicking ass, or Jones is making smartass comments. The dull, annoying mosquito-buzz that the movie sets up is only occasionally shattered by out-of-place funny moments and movie cliches guaranteed to induce a cringe. ** / *****
Being John Malkovich -- It takes a movie like this one to make those claiming the Blair Witch is groundbreaking cinema to realize what groundbreaking cinema truly is. A patently bizarre, universally hilarious film, BJM delves deeply into realms of identity and honesty while viscerally satisfying with more blatant themes of consciousness and control. The ending does not disappoint, thankfully, as I was worried it would, and in fact neatly ties the movie's themes (and even the odder plot points) together. Go for the humor, the newness, John Cusack, or the philosophy -- just go. **** + 3/5 / *****
A Place Called Chiapas -- This documentary won't be receiving any awards, I'd guess. It's not particularly well put-together, and the director's voiceovers begin to antagonize just after the opening credits. Nevertheless, for subject material and production values, this goes far beyond what you're likely to see on the Discovery channel -- especially as far as subject is concerned. The antithesis to suburban Fight Club angst, the camera often captures what true suffering is like. Despite its shortcomings, this ought to be required viewing for Americans who are discontent because gas prices are up to $1.59 per gallon. *** + 1/2 / *****
The Messenger -- In this most recent story of Joan of Arc (in which Milla Jovovich portrays her as a wild-eyed total lunatic), the things which bothered me the most and which I enjoyed the most were, coincidentally enough, both tangential to the movie's overall plot. I was more than impressed by the wonderful camerawork, alternately capturing beauty and horror (though, more often than not, horror). I was somewhat less than impressed by the irritating music, and -- even worse -- the accents that seemed to be different for every single actor. Some tried (and even succeeded), but this sort of thing really ought to be constant. John Malkovich wasn't particularly impressive, looking as if he was playing himself (judging from Being John Malkovich, anyway) in the 15th century. The plot has its share of holes, but works for the most part until you think too much about it. Overall, I'd expect better from Luc Besson, but it wasn't so bad, all things considered. *** / *****
Dogma -- I'll start off by saying that this movie is really, *really* funny. There are some painfully funny moments, the likes of which we've come to expect from mastermind Kevin Smith. With that out of the way, the brutal honesty sets in. The lead, whoever she is, is a horribly miscast straight-woman whose useless fish-out-of-water schtick gets old after a half-hour. Clever viewers will note that her character serves absolutely no purpose in the movie, and isn't even funny (the biggest sin, no pun intended). There are bland preachy sections of film about questioning faith and existence, some of which are interesting, while others just drag on and on. Still, despite being uneven, we have George Carlin as a cardinal and Alanis's voice causing heads to explode. I've often thought that was the case. **** / *****
The House on Haunted Hill -- First off, I should note that this movie is not nearly as bad as everyone seems to say it is. The opening scenes alone (the ultragraphic violence in an insane asylum, and a rather twisted amusement park) keep this from being among the worst of the year, and while the rest of the movie doesn't stay up to speed with the first fifteen minutes, I still found it entertaining. Scares were, of course, cheap and certainly not unsettling in a grander sense, but I was on the edge of my seat for a while, at least until the film fell into the same trap The Haunting did by showing us what the Thing In The Darkness looked like. In this case, the 'thing' was even less impressive than The Haunting's. Still, the psychological games the characters play with each other, while not on the level of a "real" drama, are more than enough to entertain in a horror movie. *** / *****
The Bachelor -- I really pity Chris O'Donnel. The guy goes from Batman and Robin to this, the unfunniest, unromanticalest movie of the year, despite what it would have you believe. In place of good scriptwriting -- a must for any legitimate romantic comedy -- we have annoying quips from the best friend (which aren't funny) and annoying quips from our hero (which aren't funny). Sure there are one or two funny moments, but overall this boring, cliched "comedy" is truly tiresome. Renee Zellweger playing her stereotypical blond ditz doesn't help. Skip this, see something interesting. * + 1/2 / *****
The Bone Collector -- The one thing I remember best about this movie is the atrocious, worst-of-the-decade ending, which is both nonsensical and uninteresting, all things considered. When writing a mystery, it is important to give the reader (or viewer) the feeling that (s)he should have been able to pick up what was the /obvious/ conclusion, even if said conclusion wasn't obvious at all. In the Bone Collector, it doesn't work this way -- it's simply ludicrous. The rest of the film, while moderately creepy, also suffers from a similar lack of logic, minor characters and up. Nevertheless, there's a reasonably interesting mystery buried in the crap, and Angelina Jolie is gorgeous as always. ** + 1/2 / *****
Perfect Blue -- After the opening scene, I was really afraid. The quality of the animation in Perfect Blue is really poor, Saturday-morning choppy and not especially well-drawn. After adjusting to this, however, the movie is a surreal reality-questioning hallucination by the main characters. It was creepy and clever enough to make me wish a set of competent animators had drawn it, even if the ending was a little bit weak. Still, it's certainly in the better half of anime, just for the story and characters, all of which are considerably better developed than most well-animated full-length features (Ghost in the Shell comes to mind). *** / *****
Sleepy Hollow -- While very nice to look at, the 'style over substance' credo can only take a movie so far. That's about how far Sleepy Hollow went -- it's beautiful to look at, to be sure, filled with impressive visual effects and gnarled, dark scenery. Unfortunately, despite a good performance by lead Johnny Depp, the rest of the cast (other than a sidesplitting Christopher Walken cameo that wasn't supposed to be sidesplitting) fares from fair to awful; the smaller the actor's role, the less talent (s)he seems to display -- the villain is especially awful (not the horseman, the other villain). The horseman himself, lacking autonymity, is somehow less threatening than he should be, a mere sword-wielding machine rather than a devilish haunt. Too many scenes were ruined by poor acting and a rather dull plot, given the source material, for me to at all recommend this, but if you must see it, the theater is the place to do so. ** + 1/2 / *****
Toy Story 2 -- Yes, it's better than the original, despite that there was a lot more gratuitous computer animation solely for the sake of computer animation... but is that a bad thing, really? Despite the marginalization of the army men (I liked them), animation technology (on the computer front) has improved over the last several years and it shows. In addition, instead of having to introduce characters and concept (as the first did), this installment could instead focus on telling a story and could highlight the best parts of its predecessor and discard what was not worthwhile. Some internal logic is lost in the process, but chances are you won't notice. A good choice for nearly any moviegoer. **** / *****
Pokemon: the First Movie (Mewtwo Strikes Back) -- Definitely a candidate for the movie with the longest title. That's about all it'll be a candidate for; it's not even bad enough to be the worst of the year, though it gives it the old college try. I'm familiar with the Pokemon pantheon of grunting poorly-animated creatures, so I had a leg up on most of the (adult) audience, dragged by their heartless children to this (pocket) monster. The 20-minute animated "short" before the actual movie (called Pikachu's Vacation) was dreadful, tiresome, and incoherent, having no semblance of plot, action, or content, resting on the fact that it's a fad among 6-year-olds to win over its audience. The remaining 60 minutes of movie was not much better, being merely dreadful and incoherent, and vaguely offensive. The moral of this story was as subtle as a jackhammer; not necessarily a bad thing in a kids' movie -- unless immediately afterwards one of the characters wipes this knowledge from all the other characters' heads, letting them be content in bashing each other until the end of time. Pokemon is anime at its worst. Save your money and play the video game. * + 3/4 / *****
End of Days -- One can perhaps outsmart the Lord of Darkness (using movie logic, anyway), but one does NOT out-gun the Lord of Darkness. Okay? This mistake is one of countless annoying logic gaps in End of Days, a movie that's at its best when the bullets are flying and our heroes are outrunning great balls of fire. At least then they aren't speaking... Even then, though the action scenes (except for the opener) are rather dry bursts of gunfire which try to force the viewer to guess who's just been shot, like it isn't obvious. Satan's minions are almost universally dumb and slow-moving folks with pitchforks and flashlights to provide ominous lighting but not much else. Hmph. ** / *****
Flawless - Having Robert DeNiro in a movie and forcing him to hobble around and speak out of only one side of his mouth is almost as dumb as having Denzel Washington in a movie and confining him to a bed. Nearly everything in this worlds-coming-together film is trite, from the stereotypical tough-guy in the lead role, to the stereotypical drag queens, to the stereotypical Evil Gangster Guy, to the stereotypical thugs, to the stereotypical cop buddy... well, you get the idea, I'm sure. An unnecessarily dumb side-plot involving the aforementioned Evil Gangster is superlative to the central tale of reconciliation and friendship, and so of course ends up central to the Dramatic Conclusion. Worth seeing for DeNiro, Mimi, and the talented Philip Seymour Hoffman, who seems to be a supporting actor in nearly everything these days. Joel Schumacher's annoying blatant direction does not help at all. Why do people still let him make movies? ** + 1/2 / *****
The World is Not Enough - All I need to say to make a proper review of this is to say: "It's a James Bond movie." That's enough to make most people either decide [not] to see it. I'm a James Bond fan, and this one is a throwback to the days when Bond got more than one woman per movie, and didn't have to do much spywork, but rather just run around blowing things up and escaping being shot by people on skis, snowmobiles, scuba gear, negligees, and helicopters. **** / *****
Felicia's Journey - Atom Egoyan's latest; I was really looking forward to Felicia's Journey. While I wasn't exactly disappointed, it wasn't as good as I had hoped it would be. I mean, a psychological thriller from the man who previously redefined the art of making Exotica and depressing dramas (The Sweet Hereafter). How could it be anything but one of the best of the year? Easily -- there simply isn't much to it, and the title character is practically a nonentity. This isn't a bad thing, since the film's /real/ main character is dozens of times more interesting, but his journey, compared to Felicia's, is a far more engrossing story. While an excellent movie anyway, due to the matter-of-fact style of directing what most filmmakers would botch terribly, it wasn't quite as compelling as it ought to have been; there was a disconnect between what I really wanted to see and what was actually shown, even within the story. The movie's epilogue was entirely unnecessary and really shouldn't have been added -- if you see this, think of the black screen as the last shot of the film (you'll know what I mean if you see it). *** + 3/4 / *****
Anna and the King - I am not a big fan of the epic romance drama. Some work, of course, but some end up unspeakably awful. Fortunately (I say fortunately because I want Chow Yun Fat's career to take off here) Anna and the King winds up squarely in the former category. On the heels of the most awful remake of the story ever (WB's animated 'The King and I', a candidate for worst of the year), Anna and the King is just the opposite of its recent predecessor; slow, majestic, and awe-inspiring. While some of the postmodern concessions to political correctness detract from the story somewhat, the other rewrites of the traditional story are much better, making the king a wiser man, rather than a more backwards one. Of course, rewrites and beautiful scenery aside, the movie would have been awful without an excellent leading male, and Chow Yun Fat is most definitely that. More regal than most kings, his bearing is perfect, his mannerisms graceful, he is poetry in motion, and a single gaze towards the camera conveys more emotion than a hundred teary-eyed monologues delivered by lesser actors and actresses. Jodie Foster, while not as good as her costar, certainly does a good job, though I would have perhaps liked to see a lesser-known British actress in the role instead. **** / *****
Stuart Little -- Stuart suffers from terminal cuteness on the part of both
its human actors as well as its never-quite-believable title
character/computer graphic -- facial expressions and motions just don't
quite seem natural. These two problems alone are enough to keep suspension
of disbelief from kicking in, in a movie that desperately needs said
suspension of disbelief. Only the Little son seems to think it at all odd
that he has a talking mouse for a brother, and of course he comes around
after a rousing boat race which smacked of movie climax but wasn't.
Nevertheless, the deadpan reactions from the adults are ultimately what give
the film its amusement to adult audiences. Kids, I guess, will be
entertained by the rest of it... if Pokemon (the movie) keeps them occupied,
certainly this will. ** + 4/5 / *****
Any Given Sunday -- Stone's violent meat-grinder starts up immediately, and
is certainly at its best when at its bloodiest. Laden with several layers
of testosterone, each thicker than the last, this jarring film will appeal
to most of the men in the audience... the women are, perhaps, a little less
lucky. Centered on the career of a coach who has seen better times, this
film offers a brutal look at what takes place on and off the field, and is
only rarely complimentary. Characters are merely varying degrees of vicious
and manipulative (with the possible exception of the aging Joe Montana-esque
QB), some (Cameron Diaz) more so than others. Certain sequences are
overused, and at points the preachiness gets a little too thick to handle
(bring back big guys hitting each other!), but that was my only complaint
(other than a couple fact-checking errors which didn't detract at all from
the experience). Especially during game scenes, a definitive work for the
genre in coming years. And James Woods is even in it. **** / ***** (** /
***** for those who don't understand the joys of big grunting men bashing
each other and bleeding)
Man on the Moon -- I never watched Taxi, and I was never a big winner on the
'dead comedians' Jeopardy category, so while I had heard the name Andy
Kaufman before seeing this film, it didn't really mean much to me. After
seeing this movie, it certainly does. What the movie didn't do, however, is
take dramatic license with the story ñ at all. While some films which
profess to be true stories bend the truth a little too much, this one went
to the opposite extreme and seemed almost like a 'best of Andy Kaufman'
documentary, but with someone else performing the skits. Fortunately, this
isn't a bad thing. Jim Carrey's impersonation is perfect (I have since seen
a documentary on the real Kaufman), and The Man himself is perhaps the most
brilliant, revolutionary mind to hit mainstream entertainment in a very long
while, and that alone was more than worth the price of admission. If you're
already familiar with Andy's career, though, this movie won't add a whole
lot for you... I, however, consider it quite an eye-opener. **** / *****
The Talented Mr. Ripley -- An excellent "thriller," not in the modern sense
of the word (which involves Sharon Stone, breasts, and copious amounts of
blood), but in the more traditional sense; something that is actually
chilling psychologically, both to its characters and the viewer. 'Ripley'
thrives on being a psychological chiller from the outset, when we're
introduced to the title character, Tom Ripley, who is a smart guy with a
nothing life who also happens to be a sociopath. His sociopathic tendencies
are initially played down, to let us adjust to him finally becoming
"somebody," via Jude Law, playing a charismatic pretty-boy. The mood is set
(in Italy) most wonderfully, scenery and camerawork being excellent. I was
mostly bothered by the unnecessary coincidences -- generally, a sign of
sloppy scriptwriting -- and Cate Blanchett's character, who was the vehicle
by which many of these coincidences formed themselves. Overall, though, a
great look inside the mind of a reluctant killer, with excellent
performances by most of the actors, especially Matt Damon. **** + 1/4 /
*****
Galaxy Quest -- By all rights, this should have been an awful movie. Sci-fi parodies are few and far between, and successful sci-fi parodies are fewer and far betweener. With Tim Allen heading up a film in which ex-Star Trek stars take on an evil alien empire (and presumably win), one has just cause to think unpleasant thoughts. However, in this case, they're unwarranted, as Galaxy Quest works at what it goes out to do; deliver high-quality good-natured entertainment for (most of) the family. Sci-fi in-jokes are plentiful enough that fans will be amused, but the premise easily explains itself as the movie unfolds, so non-fans will have a good time, as well. The pacing is just right, and the timing is (for the most part) excellent, with all actors involved turning in great performances. And it's all done without resorting to fart jokes. Surprised? *** + 3/4 / *****
Bicentennial Man -- Luckily, Bicentennial Man came along when it did, because I was in desperate need of something to round out my worst-of-the-year list. While not as bad as last year's worst-of-the-year Patch Adams, Bicentennial Man takes an intriguing premise and manages to butcher it completely, substituting maudlin string-pulling for philosophy, and painfully obvious button-pushing for genuine sentiment. Robin Williams, as always, makes a lot of Robin Williams faces (that sort of twinkly-eyed grimace we've come to despise), and do their level bests to make the audience cry, but to no effect; we've seen it all before in all of director Chris Columbus's other [bad] movies, sometimes better. Themes central to the original story -- sentience, intelligence, and humanity -- are only glossed over, while Robin Williams inspiring the stuffy adults around him is, unfortunately, not. * + 3/4 / *****
Deuce Bigalow: Male Gigolo -- With the involvement of Rob Schneider as the main character an instant strike against it (one of many instant strikes against it, I might add), viewers of Deuce Bigalow will be pleasantly surprised when they see the film... up to a point, anyway. The title makes it very clear what the movie is about, and it's every bit as tasteless and vulgar as you'd expect. It's also funnier than you'd expect; just not that much funnier than you'd expect. Most of the gags are ruined by the trailer, and the few that aren't simply aren't that funny (granted, there are a couple exceptions). So, if you're looking for a boring movie billed as a comedy which pokes fun at people who are different from you physically, this is the movie for you. On the plus side, it's not as bad as Bicentennial Man. Fred Garvin (Dan Aykroyd) would be rolling over in his grave, if he were dead. ** / *****
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