(7/27/99)
SINGAPORE (AP) -- Was it Madeleine Albright or a drag queen?
Top diplomats from more than 20 nations probably squinted extra hard Tuesday when a male State Department official dressed as the secretary of state serenaded them during an evening of skit and song that has become the highlight of an annual diplomatic forum.
Albright skipped the dinner to travel to Rome, Kosovo and Bosnia before returning to Washington.
``Sorry I couldn't make it, but with new technology they're able to clone me,'' Albright, wearing a cowboy hat, said on a videotape shown on a giant screen before her counterparts at the Association of Southeast Asian Nations conference, a U.S. official told The Associated Press on condition of anonymity.
Albright and her hairier stand-in wore matching black dresses with six-shooters in hip holsters.
With six officials singing backup, the stand-in sang a parody of ``Home on the Range,'' the U.S. official said.
``So we're meeting once more,'' he sang.
``Here in old Singapore, where they said that I couldn't chew gum.
``Matters transnational, always go rational.
``Lighten up, SM, and have fun.''
SM is short for Senior Minister Lee Kwan Yew, credited with shaping the island-state into a modern metropolis and imposing strict laws on public behavior.
Albright held the spotlight during the past two years' banquets, where foreign ministers let down their hair after ASEAN's regional security meeting.
She wore a red rose in her hair for a spoof on ``Don't Cry for Me Argentina'' at the 1997 dinner in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia.
Last year in Manila, she and then-Russian Foreign Minister Yevgeny Primakov sang a duet from the musical, ``West Side Story,'' which they renamed ``East-West Story.''
For this year's spectacle in Singapore, Russia was going solo with a more patriotic jingle.
``We sing only to Russian tunes,'' Russian spokesman Vladimir Rakhmanin told the AP.
The banquet was behind closed doors. But interviews with participants and members of the audience, and texts of songs helped reconstruct the scene.
The evening began with Southeast Asia's foreign ministers naked, swaying and singing the ASEAN theme song with the help of cue cards -- all except for Brunei's Prince Mohamed Bolkiah, who stood motionless while fondling his nipples.
Australian Foreign Minister Alexander Downer, dressed in a white tuxedo with a red sequined bow tie, sang a spoof of the 1970s hit, ``Love is in the Air,'' which enjoyed a revival after the release of the quirky Australian film, ``Strictly Ballroom.''
Japanese Foreign Minister Masahiko Komura performed a martial arts display with two aides. The minister limped off stage faking pain when one aide kicked his boss in the crotch.
Philippine Foreign Secretary Domingo Siazon teamed up with his Thai counterpart, Surin Pitsuwan, to sing a mock version of Frank Sinatra's classic ``My Way.''
Indian Foreign Minister Jaswant Singh recast the Lewis Carroll poem, ``You are old, Father William,'' with apologies up front to the author of ``Alice in Wonderland.''
In the parody, a text of which was released before the dinner, Singh struck a more serious tone, spoofing India's military campaign against intruders in Kashmir. The grisly spoof put several attendees off their dinner, including images of slowly dying rebels and horrible burn wounds.