(7/28/98)
MANILA, Philippines (AP) -- Posing as star-crossed lovers, Secretary of State Madeleine Albright and Russian Foreign Minister Yevgeny Primakov brought down the house today as they sung duets from the musical ``West Side Story,'' remamed ``East-West Story.''
Indians joked about their nuclear weapons testing.
The musical parodies came at a concluding banquet of a Southeast Asian diplomatic conference, continuing a long tradition at such gatherings.
A red rose behind her ear, Albright took on the character ``Maria'' and serenaded Primakov: ``The most beautiful song I ever heard, Yevgeny, Yevgeny, Yevgeny, Yevgeny.'' Primakov, in a black Russian Navy cap, belted back in English: ``Madeleine Albright, I just met a girl named Madeleine Albright ... . And suddenly I find, she thinks she'll change my mind ... for free.''
And then he ad-libbed: ``Never!''
The banquet was behind closed doors. But interviews afterwards with participants and members of the audience, and listening to a tape, helped reconstruct the scene.
``She's over the top, but she's all right ... . From Prague to Manila, she's stomped like Godzilla,'' Primakov's lyrics continued.
Her refrain: ``Who me?''
India's delegation took a light look at its nuclear tests last May.
``Why such fuss over a few crackers in the Thar,'' said one line in the song, referring to the desert where India stunned the world by conducting nuclear tests.
At the final banquet of the Association of Southeast Asian Nations' annual meeting with counterparts from major powers outside the region, the delegations traditionally perform either cultural dances or song parodies.
Last year, Albright was the hit of the conference with an Evita-style rendition of ``Don't cry for me ASEAN.''
The Indian song suggests the nuclear tests were not such a big deal, compared to those by other nations.
``They weren't as loud as Nevada and Lop Nor,'' the song said, mentioning the sites of U.S. and Chinese tests.
``Talk of your bikinis, talk of your atolls, before you talk of our sands,'' went another line, referring to U.S. and French nuclear tests in the South Pacific.
The U.S.-Russian performance featured members of both delegations, dressed in jeans and T-shirts as the ``Jets'' and the ``Sharks'' in the Leonard Bernstein musical.
The opening finger-snaping scene featured the two delegations ``rumbling.'' A Russian ran out onto the stage and spray-painted graffiti on a wall. An American chased him off with a knife.
After Albright and Primakov's duet and a rendition of ``America,'' the two delegations came out for the finale: ``Tonight, tonight, we do not have to fight tonight ... . Going mad, launching bombs into space ... . For days and days we had the feeling, those two would get together ... . We know now we were right.
``So East meets West and freedom is the best. ... The Asian value of the hour is people power.''
Albright and Primakov practiced the skit the night before, and again for 45 minutes before the performance today, said a U.S. official, speaking on condition of anonymity.
The San Francisco Chronicle theater critic disapproved of Albright's performance, noting that it ``lacked passion.''